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Post by desertdoll on Oct 19, 2011 14:07:37 GMT -5
Sorry this is kind of a long post.... I've been debating if I should even post this, but i've been slightly worried about my future pit bull ownership. Not really if I can do it, but more about my boyfriend. A little back info. My boyfriend and I are deeply madly in love and consider ourselves soul mates. I moved into his rented town home where our crack head of a land lady doesn't allow pets. I asked for a pet, he said no. Of course I understood since we have some financial problems and lack of space. Once we began the house hunting ritual I asked again. He was hesitant but he said yes. So i began my search for a perfect dog...which lead me to this forum  (thanks for being awesome people btw) Anyways, my boyfriend Jason is not a dog person. Not to say he doesn't like dogs, just that he has very little experience with dogs. His mom spent a lot of money on an Alaskan Eskimo when he was 10. They never socialized the dog, got her shots, spayed or anything. So they had a dog who peed in the house all the time, never liked strangers and I think bit a few people. His sister currently has an Australian Shepherd named Ozzy who he loves a lot. Since I began coming to this forum and reading all the info everyone posts I have related this info to him and he has gotten pretty interested in the idea of getting our dog certified as a therapy dog and getting the CGC. He has no problems with pit bulls or any large dog. I think one of his major problems with dogs is that dogs don't live long so he is afraid of getting his heart broke. Ok i'm rambling now. So my question is how do I make this a good experience for him? I mean, how to I show him owning a dog is very rewarding and that its like having the ultimate best friend? He has already stated he wants to rescue not buy and that he wants to get a puppy... I was kind of surprised when he said that so all this info I keep giving him must be working. Any advice will be awesome. |
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Post by suziriot on Oct 19, 2011 14:13:32 GMT -5
I strongly recommend waiting on getting a pet if your boyfriend is even slightly hesitant. Start by asking him to volunteer with you at a local shelter, where he can walk the dogs and interact with them. Maybe encourage him to join this forum. If he is not 100% on board, it would not be fair to any animal that you bring into your home. And it would most likely cause problems in your relationship. ETA: And regarding the puppy thing... they are hard work and training can be a very frustrating experience for new owners. If and when you are ready to adopt, I would recommend a younger dog, maybe 1 to 2 years old. They're still tons of fun at that age, but a little easier to deal with.  |
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Post by michele5611 on Oct 19, 2011 14:14:58 GMT -5
While there is in my opinion nothing cuter than puppies it might be more prudent to think about if and when -adopting a 2-3 year old pit bull.
Did you ever think about fostering? Kinda of getting his feet wet so to speak.
Like Suzi said possibly going to a shelter to volunteer might be helpful.
You both have to 100% be on board with having a pet and you need to make sure he realizes how things will change.
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Post by suziriot on Oct 19, 2011 14:18:28 GMT -5
^ LOL! We were totally thinking alike Michele. Just saw your post after I edited mine. |
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Post by RealPitBull on Oct 19, 2011 14:21:13 GMT -5
I agree with what Suzi and Michele said. Also consider that most reputable rescues won't consider placing a dog in a home that has an accupant not 100% on board with getting a dog. I do think you will ultimately sway him, he just needs to be around some awesome Pit Bulls. They are hard not to fall in love with when you spend some time with them. |
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Post by michele5611 on Oct 19, 2011 14:23:12 GMT -5
^ LOL! We were totally thinking alike Michele. Just saw your post after I edited mine. HA HA I had a chuckle myself! |
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Post by sugar on Oct 19, 2011 14:23:31 GMT -5
My bf was not thrilled with the dog I adopted. He thought I picked the "ugliest one at the rescue" and that Chubby had "too many problems". We have been living together a little under a year now, and at first was not please with Chubs at all, complained everytime Chubby vomited/got sick/had an accident/drooled on something. Bf always referred to Chubby as "your dog" or "my girlfriend's dog".
He now calls Chubby his "special little man", proudly refers to him as "my dog" or "our dog" and always teases me that "You know Chubby loves me more right?". And now if Chubby stays with my parents, bf will actually tell me how much he misses the dog.
I mention this only to let you know since your bf had problems with his mom's dog that yes he won't be super receptive when accidents happen, but keep your calm. The best thing you can do is try to include the bf in the search, ask him what kind of personality he is looking for in a dog (really make him a part of the search because that way you BOTH choose a pup. Your bf knows you have been excited for a while about getting a dog so there may be a fear in the back of his mind that you will do all the picking and he won't get any input). Explain to him what rules you will have in place for the pup (like in my case, bf was very clear about "no dogs on furniture or in the bed". I wasn't happy, but compromise makes the world go round. Explain that you both will raise and train this puppy into a well behaved and house-broken dog, but that he has to understand: dogs have accidents and slip-ups. Also explain to him that puppies are a LOT of work. A LOT. I always recommend adults from good rescues that have properly screened and temperament tested. You know their personalities and how big they will get. If your heart is set on a puppy you both have to agree you understand the workload and that accidents WILL happen (just a puppy's nature).
My bf was never really around dogs much (except some small yappy ones his family had that he never really connected with) so he felt the same way in the beginning ("I don't know how to pick a dog" "I don't know what I'm doing" etc). Time, openness, patience and most importantly lots of carpet cleaner!!
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Post by desertdoll on Oct 19, 2011 14:24:37 GMT -5
I would say he is about 90% on board. When I started the search he was maybe 50% so he is getting there...
I wont actually get a dog till about Feb or March, so I have a lot of time to prepare him. Like I said its not that he doesn't like dogs, its just that he doesn't have a good example of dog ownership. Its more like he thinks he could screw up the dog somehow. It's weird. The more info I give him the more on board he gets with it.
I suggested an older dog and his response was "well can we look at all sorts of dogs and choose the one that we both love?" Which is something he would NEVER have said in the past.
He gets a lot of time with dogs thanks to his sister and her friends. A few of them even have pit bulls which he has SOOOOOO much fun with. Lately especially.
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Post by sugar on Oct 19, 2011 14:25:19 GMT -5
ps: Fostering is a great idea! The rescue I got Chubby from does short term fosters to help get their dogs out of shelters for a bit and to help them work on their house manners. Maybe you guys could do a short term foster. pps: THAT is how you ramble the right way lol |
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Post by desertdoll on Oct 19, 2011 14:33:59 GMT -5
I mention this only to let you know since your bf had problems with his mom's dog that yes he won't be super receptive when accidents happen, but keep your calm. The best thing you can do is try to include the bf in the search, ask him what kind of personality he is looking for in a dog (really make him a part of the search because that way you BOTH choose a pup. Your bf knows you have been excited for a while about getting a dog so there may be a fear in the back of his mind that you will do all the picking and he won't get any input). Explain to him what rules you will have in place for the pup (like in my case, bf was very clear about "no dogs on furniture or in the bed". I wasn't happy, but compromise makes the world go round. Explain that you both will raise and train this puppy into a well behaved and house-broken dog, but that he has to understand: dogs have accidents and slip-ups. Also explain to him that puppies are a LOT of work. A LOT. I always recommend adults from good rescues that have properly screened and temperament tested. You know their personalities and how big they will get. If your heart is set on a puppy you both have to agree you understand the workload and that accidents WILL happen (just a puppy's nature). Exactly. I think the reason he wants a puppy is to learn how to raise it properly. I think if we went to Petsmart or the shelter together he would probably find a lot of dogs he really liked. |
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Post by RealPitBull on Oct 19, 2011 14:34:53 GMT -5
My bf was not thrilled with the dog I adopted. He thought I picked the "ugliest one at the rescue"  Do me a favor and smack him for me, will you?! ;D |
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Post by michele5611 on Oct 19, 2011 14:38:02 GMT -5
give him a smack for me too!! Don't feel bad...Pete always calls Harley basic looking...I think it hurts her feelings.
Desertdoll if and when the time is right we can always help you try and find a reputable rescue in your area.
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Post by michele5611 on Oct 19, 2011 14:39:48 GMT -5
Anothing thing there are two schools of thought....some people like to get a pit bull puppy so they can raise it properly from the start....others like to get a older dog...mabye been living in a foster home where it has been able to be somewhat evaluated so to speak.
Me personally prefer the non puppy route.
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Post by desertdoll on Oct 19, 2011 14:47:44 GMT -5
Desertdoll if and when the time is right we can always help you try and find a reputable rescue in your area. I have found two that deal specifically with bully breeds. They have pretty strict guidelines for adoption and fostering. www.ruffroadrescue.com/www.maydaypitbullrescue.org/ |
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Post by sugar on Oct 19, 2011 14:51:35 GMT -5
Bf was smacked thoroughly for calling my boy ugly. Now he cuddles up with Chubby on the carpet and calls him "Handsome little gentleman".
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Post by catstina on Oct 19, 2011 14:53:02 GMT -5
I said to Tim, "Just come with me to see the dog, we don't have to bring him home. Let's just see him." It was all over when Tim saw his face. He couldn't say no to Saxon!
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Post by RealPitBull on Oct 19, 2011 14:54:24 GMT -5
I said to Tim, "Just come with me to see the dog, we don't have to bring him home. Let's just see him." It was all over when Tim saw his face. He couldn't say no to Saxon! This is a good tactic as well. ;D |
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Post by desertdoll on Oct 19, 2011 14:55:20 GMT -5
Awww that's so awesome. Saxon is gorgeous though... Anyone would fall in love with that face.
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Post by maryellen on Oct 19, 2011 15:57:20 GMT -5
if you are going to get a dog 1. get an adult. 2 get an adult from a reputable rescue that has the dog in a foster home .. this way the BF wont have any bad things that might sway him with a dog with issues, and he will have a positive experience.. you can start out volunteering with a reputable rescue, then step to fostering (fostering is actually test driving a dog to see if it fits and at the same time if it doesnt you are saving a dog from a shelter) this way by fostering you can both find "the dog you both will love" and that makes the process easier..
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Post by desertdoll on Oct 19, 2011 16:21:08 GMT -5
Thanks for the advice maryellen. I will talk to him about it and see what he thinks.
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(thanks for being awesome people btw) 
I look forward to learning much here