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Post by AmyJo27 on Aug 7, 2012 19:54:13 GMT -5
I'm losing my mind. :-[
I've been working part time and kris works full time. We make ends meet but times can be stressful money wise. But me working part time means I am raising our 2 daughters not a daycare.
I've applied at a few places contemplating working full time at a better playing job. Needless to say, EVERY WHERE I've applied interviewed and offered me a position. :/ Which to me is stressful now trying to figure out where to go!!
Ive decided for the money the Verizon job would be best. Its 40 hours a week working 20 hours as a sales consultant and 20 hours in a office. The pays good and after bills we'd have $1000 extra dollars. Which is nice because we are looking into b buying an acreage SOON.
What to do........Im finding it hard to give up being mom on the weekdays. BUT it's hard to buy a house (let alone an acreage) on our budget.
Need a little guidance and maybe reassurance...lol
Feel like my options are 1. Get our house we want and ditch the kids or 2. Rent forever and be parents What would you do???
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Post by melonie on Aug 7, 2012 20:45:36 GMT -5
First off, it's not ditching your kids. There is nothing wrong w/ being a working mom! I've had to work as a single parent my kids' entire life. I don't feel guilty about having to work, because there is nothing to feel guilty for. Both my kids are turning out to be hard working awesome kids. I don't consider it a sacrifice, because I didn't sacrifice anything. If you want the house, work for it, and fit your job into your life. Find employment somewhere that is flexible, and understands family first. I can work 40 hrs or 30 hrs at my current job, so long as I get everything done. If I miss a day I just have to work my butt off to get caught up. My boss will always give me the time I need to go to my kids' functions, appointments etc. If taking care of your family is more important, and the house can wait, then take the time to raise your babies, then when they're in school, start working more. Either way, do what feels right for you and your husband!
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Post by suziriot on Aug 7, 2012 20:46:51 GMT -5
Okay, here's my 2 cents: - First, figure out how much money you will be spending on daycare if you are working full time and deduct that amount from your take-home pay. So for example, if you would be spending $1000/month on daycare and would be taking home (meaning after taxes and other deductions) $2000/month, your actual monthly earnings would be $1000. Make sense?
- If you still would be taking home more money working full time with the kids in daycare than you're currently bringing home working part time, then the job is worth it financially.
- Renting is not necessarily a bad thing. It can be a pain, but owning property or a home brings a whole new set of problems and expenses. And there's no walking away from it without pretty significant consequences. It's a HUGE commitment, and who knows how your life may change in the next year or two? You and Kris are still very young, and you have PLENTY of time. I strongly suggest that you start putting away savings now, so when you find the perfect home you can put enough money down to make it a smart financial investment. The housing market is going to remain buyer friendly for many years yet, so no rush to get a good deal.
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Post by emilys on Aug 7, 2012 22:25:02 GMT -5
find out from Verizon how family-friendly they are.. can you get flexible hours? Is there any office daycare? Will you get health insurance benefits?
As for buying... it's a huge decision as Suziriot notes. If you choose to buy, you MUST be sure you can really afford it. Don't get suckered by some banker into borrowing more than you can afford. Be sure you can still pay the mortgage if one of you loses a job. Dont buy if you have any credit card debt or other major loans.. pay them off first.
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Post by loverocksalot on Aug 8, 2012 7:18:05 GMT -5
Ok I will tell you my experience instead of which you should or should not do.
I got married at 21 after 3 years working full time for Citibank. Things were good so I got pregnant we moved to larger apartment closer to our family. While on maternity leave I had a hell of a time figuring out who would watch my son. My mom always said she would not do it. The short time I was home with him changed my whole plan. I went to the district manager who promised me my dream position in investigations part time in his office. (jeans and t shirts YAY!). Well while I was on leave he was given a new position out of the district and citibank would not take me back part time only full time same position but not same location. I cried my eyes out at the thought of having to leave my son that many days and hours not too mention I would not be working 5 min away but now 30 min away. I made a promise to my husband that I would give up anything, even my car what ever I had to do to stay home with my son. And I quit. I did not give up my car, but I did give up many unnecessary things. Reducing cable , turning off lights etc etc. It really was not that bad. 2 years went by we actually saved some money up. I have all my life lived in an apartment and longed for a house. So we went house searching. Found out we could not afford to buy in the area we lived so we went north like an hour and ended up buying a house on almost an acre which was huge property to us from the city we lived in. Today 20 years later we still live in that house. My son is 22 and I had another child who is 17. I am still a stay at home mom and I truly love that I have had the moments and still have the moments I have with them. I would never guess that not going back to work would get me where we are today. Our house is paid off and we have some money saved. I am very frugal and I consider my job to be a clearance frugal buyer which is something I have the time to do. I do the landscaping and gardening (our house was new on a pile of dirt not a blade of grass). I keep the house clean and decorated. I do most of the chores asking for help when the others have free time from their work. I dont bother my husband much with chores since he is only home 2 days a week. I believe if I worked we would be in debt. Why because when I worked we bought. I bought a new car when I first got married that I had to sell within a year. We would have bought a bigger house with a bigger mortgage. I would have been buying clothes for work, might have needed a house cleaner and a babysitter. My hour travel over a bridge which would sometimes be 2 hours due to traffic. Gas and tolls. Then the toys and clothes I would have bought my son, not on clearance, because clearance shopping alone is an extra job. I believe for us it would not have been the better situation. Now 23 years after I quit my job to be a at home mom I occasionally feel depressed and not worthy. But if I am to get any outside work now it has to be something I enjoy. I am not going back to work in a bank. I almost did day care, but I would not enjoy that. I also was asked to work at a garden center, I would love that however they just had a baby and they were looking for someone to cover weekends. Weekends are all I have with my husband and kids so that is out. I have asked my self What is this life for? For me it is for life, living life with my husband and my kids and my dog. Not working to have a cell phone a computer and the best car on the street. So I decided to learn about things first dog training then shooting a gun then motorcycle riding. I make a few bucks here and there with my training and pet care lectures and newest my little safe shooter business. All that money goes right in an envelope for what? I dont know yet , but it gives me that worthiness I was lacking recently.
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Post by sugar on Aug 8, 2012 8:46:19 GMT -5
First off, it's not ditching your kids. There is nothing wrong w/ being a working mom! Yes, please understand being a working mom is not the same thing as ditching your kids. I come from a home where both my parents had to work to keep us all afloat and happy. That just means that you make the time you do have with your kids really count. I grew up in an a two bedroom apt where I had to share a room with my two brothers (bunk beds, boys on top and me on the bottom). Both my parents had to work because they wanted to send us to a better school. I didn't get my own room until I was about 11 and we were able to move into a house. I don't remember thinking anything about it. I didn't feel deprived or whatever. It was just how it was. We didn't have a ton of money, but I cherish my memories of going to the beach and eating KFC we picked up on the way (fast food was always a special treat). I remember having both my parents sit down and have dinner as a family nightly. My mom says I cried a lot the first week I was going to daycare, but I honestly don't remember any of that. I remember all the homework help and daytrips to lots of places (even if it was going to a place like Times Square just to see all the lights) on the weekends. Do what is right for your family, but don't let yourself think that if you decide to work that it makes you less of a mom. It doesn't. I love my mom, and now that I am older I full see everything she did was because she loved us and wanted the best for us. I don't begrudge her working. Our society is really messed up towards working mothers (and women in general). If you work and have no kids, they call you selfish and say how you are missing out. If you have kids and work, they call you selfish for not 'putting your kids first'. If you have kids and don't work, they call you lazy or look down because you aren't 'earning any income'. Seriously women can't win sometimes. But f*ck all that nonsense and do right by you and yours. Thats all that counts.
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Post by emilys on Aug 8, 2012 9:40:49 GMT -5
these comments made me think of dog ownership and the guilt we feel over leaving our dogs at home alone!
Most dog trainers/behaviorists say it's not so much the amount of time you spend with them, but the quality of the time.
Maybe the same is true for kids? So if you go with the job.. just make sure that your time at home is spent with your family, doing things together.
Now that won't leave much "alone " time for yourself, if you're the kind of person who needs that...
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Post by loverocksalot on Aug 8, 2012 15:35:16 GMT -5
Yes emily it is much the same. its a touchy subject. Both those who work and stay at home equally are doing right either way they choose to go.
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Post by adoptapitbull on Aug 9, 2012 5:34:10 GMT -5
I don't have children, so I don't want to offer blind advice on the kid part. What I do have is multiple houses so I can absolutely speak to real estate. Buying a house is one of the most awesome times in your life, especially your very first house! However, it is very easy to get caught up in the excitement and buy something you think you can afford and quickly realize you cannot, or can just scrape by. The purchase price will give you an idea of what your monthly payment will be. There are tons of calculators online to help you with that. But, be careful with those. Some of them include assumptions for how much taxes and insurance will be. Sometimes they are right, other times not. It could tell you that your payment will be about X per month. You crunch numbers and figure that is OK. Then reality hits. Your homeowner's insurance costs way more. Your taxes are more. You will want to get a home warranty (we use American Home Shield) to cover major fixes, and that costs $500 or more per year. Then there's closing costs. You may be approved for, say, 10% down. Cool. Easy math there. But then you realize there are title and deed fees, lawyer fees, recording fees, inspections, appraisals, etc. Your 10% is quickly approaching 13-15%. Doesn't sound like a lot, but it adds up fast. Once you close, the real fun begins! Now everything is up to you. New paint? Floors? Furniture? Got to be able to mow that big yard, maybe buy a tractor? Since the yard is huge, it's time to build a fence. Don't forget about heating/air. Bigger house = higher bill. Another thing, make sure your homeowner's insurance is OK with you having 2 Pit Bulls. They may force you to carry much more in liability because of it. Not cheap! Oh, and the most fun part is the surprise aspect. Surprise! We got burglarized at our new place that is still vacant. A thief stole copper pipes from the basement. We're hit with a $500 deductible, a $900 water bill, and who knows how much of the repair will be covered. All for a crack head stealing about $25 (street value) worth of pipes. Not to mention that this is delaying our rental and causing us to pay at least another 2 months of mortgage payments. If this happened to you, it'd be living without water for weeks. Now that would not be fun! I don't want to discourage anyone from buying when the time is right. Buying is wonderful for you when the time is right. Jumping in now is a great time, but only if you can afford it and still be able to put money into savings. If you have to scrimp just to get buy, it's best to wait a year and re-evaluate. I hope I could be of some help I know you'll make the right decision for you and your little ones!
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Post by AmyJo27 on Aug 9, 2012 17:43:45 GMT -5
Thank you all for the advice!!!!!!! I took the job. Its such a great oppurtunity with options to grow!! And once I got over the entail panic I realized the kids arw not going to be in daycare THAT much. Ill mostly be working mornings and kris works nights so, it wont be too bad. With daycare costs, were still coming out really good so it became a no brainer. I totally agree, renting isnt bad but honestly were just ready to own. Ready to get out in the country and ready to be able to make a house ours. Maybe i worded the above wrong.......when I say soon, or asap , I mean within the next 2 years. We have money saved for the process but want more behind us (tax returns and keep saving). We're incredibly anxious (especially me) but we dont want to end up over our heads so we're just taking it 1 step at a time.
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Post by adoptapitbull on Aug 9, 2012 18:51:33 GMT -5
Congrats! You will know when you are ready. You're a smart cookie!
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Post by loverocksalot on Aug 9, 2012 20:04:38 GMT -5
Good Luck with the new job. Im sure everything will work out as you are taking time to weigh all your options.
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Post by emilys on Aug 9, 2012 20:27:18 GMT -5
sounds great! good luck
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